What is Love? baby don't hurt me, Don't hurt me, no more.

THE LIE: 

I am unlovable.

THE TRUTH: 

"For God so LOVED the world He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believes in Him shall not perish but have ever lasting life."

-John 3:16

Okay, so God loves the world. That says nothing about me....

 "Before I formed you in the womb I knew you; Before you were born I sanctified you; I ordained you a prophet of the nations." 

-Jeremiah 1:5

Alright, so God knows me. And?

"He brought me to the banqueting house, and his banner over me was LOVE." 

- Song of Solomon 2:4 

Hmm, a banner is a declaration. He DECLARED his love over me. He branded me with it. Alright, but what IS love?

"Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails."

- 1 Corinthians 13: 4-8a

Okay, love never fails? But how long is never?

"Set me as a seal upon your heart, as a seal upon your arm; for LOVE is as strong as DEATH, jealously demanding as the grave, its flames are flames of fire, A most vehement flame. Many waters cannot quench LOVE. Nor can the floods drown it. If a man wold give for LOVE all the wealth of his house, it would be utterly despised."

- Song of Solomon 8:6-7

Recap: God came because He LOVES the whole world. But He also formed me and knows me specifically. God declared His Love over me. And Love never fails, because love conquers death and is unquenchable.

Alright, so God loves me, but what the commandment here?

"As the Father Loved Me, I also have loved you; abide in my love."

- John 15: 9 

So that's what God calls us to? To abide in His Love?

Whoa....wait, whats abide mean?

a·bide

   /əˈbaɪd/ Show Spelled verb (used without object)

1.

to remain; continue; stay: Abide with me.

2.

to have one's abode; dwell; reside: to abide in a small Scottish village.

3.

to continue in a particular condition, attitude, relationship, etc.; last.

I will abide in the LOVE of Christ. I will build my life on His LOVE. And I will believe the truth in His word.

...Oh girl....

In order to get a mini vaca before I start working forever hours a week, I headed down to Medford yesterday (Tuesday June 7th) to visit my dear friend Ruby. That drive was SO LONG. But so good. I remembered what it was like to be alone. And realized how much I love it! I had forgotten the freedom to just be alone and spend time with Jesus.

Today was wonderful, Ruby was working so I spent numerous hours alone since I don't know anyone else in Medford! But God is SO GOOD!! Honestly. I was able to go thrift shopping and met lots of people, some really nice, others a little odd. None the less, I felt the love of God everywhere I went. I so enjoyed it. I was just able to sit in the park and read my bible and bask in the glory of the Lord. It has been a long time since my time with Jesus hasn't been limited. I am in constant contact with Him. But just being able to give Him hours of my time is so freeing. 

May 31st: The dawn of a new day.

May 31, 2009.

This was a day for me to remember. 

On this day, God turned me away from the worldly dirty and unworthy person I had made myself. He filled me with His spirit and empowered me to be a woman of God. He showed me that without Him I am nothing. I am just an empty piece of nothing. God finally broke me. And at this point, I was ready to be broken. I hated myself. I hated who i had let myself become. I hated the compromises that I had made. But in Christ. I am new. I am worthy. I am loved.

"I am so unworthy, but still you love me. Forever my heart will sing of how great you are"

-Phil Wickham, Cannons

May 31 2011.

Was also a day to remember.

God has brought me so far since 2009. He has taught me of His love. Showed me what it really meant to have an interpersonal relationship with Him. God has been teaching me how to treat His like my father, how to treat Him like my lover and how to treat Him like my master. These have been hard lessons. But so satisfying. On December 29, 2010 Christ allowed me to get into a relationship with an amazing man of God. However, that relationship was never mine. It was God's. God was the center and completely in charge the entire time. On May 31, 2011 God gave this man the strength to end the relationship. God wanted to romance me. God is a jealous God and wanted all of me. Although I don't understand His plan, and honestly don't want too. I know that May 31 is once again a monumental day. It was a hard day. But God is good and I know I am safe in His hands.

Obedience

Obedience is a funny thing. Not really something you mind until God is telling you something to be obedient in that doesn't fit with your desires. Then it becomes quite the struggle. Sometimes, the obedience isn't for you, but it affects you completely. Sometimes, your obedience comes in helping others be obedient. I think that is the worst kind of obedience.

"Obey those who rule over you, and be submissive, for they watch out for your souls, as those who must give account. Let them do so with joy and and not grief, for that would be unprofitable for you." 

Hebrews 13:17